Broken, Dead Dreams
by Klutzygirl33
Summary: Spoilers up to "Flight". Mark's dreams died out there with her. He falls apart after the five survivors are rescued.


**Disclaimer**: I don't own Grey's Anatomy and never will. No copyright infringement intended.

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When Mark woke up in the hospital, Julia was by his side. Unfortunately, he didn't want her there. "Lexie?"

"Oh, Mark. No, it's Julia." She had followed everyone else to the airport to see Mark because she had been worried about him.

Derek let out a groan as he shifted around in his bed. Meredith had insisted that her husband and his best friend share a room since she had a feeling Mark would need him. Hell, she needed Derek. Every fifteen minutes she rushed to the bathroom to either cry or throw up. "Ow."

"I'm still alive?" Mark had expected to die out there, had wanted to. He didn't want to be in a world without Lexie. All his dreams died out there with her.

"Yes, you are. Sofia's out in the waiting room since Callie's with Arizona – Do you want to see her?" Julia planned on taking care of Mark as much as he would allow. She figured bringing his daughter to him was the first step.

"Sure."

"Okay then." Julia walked out of the room just as Meredith exited the bathroom.

"So, when are you breaking up with her?" Derek was absolutely convinced that Mark and Julia wouldn't last, especially now that Lexie was dead.

"I'm too tired right now." To prove his point, Mark yawned. He didn't have the energy to do much of anything at the moment, let alone have this conversation with his girlfriend. The one who wanted a baby with him and flew out to apparently see him.

"Well, you shouldn't drag it out. It's not fair to either of you." Meredith thought he should just rip the band aid off immediately and break up with Julia.

Julia returned with Sofia, effectively ending the conversation. She noticed the awkwardness immediately, but didn't comment on it. "Here's Daddy, little one! But you have to be careful." She leaned the baby over the rail so she could see her father.

"Hi, baby. Daddy's sorry he can't hold you, but he's not feeling too well. Have you seen your mamas yet?" He let Sofia babble for a few minutes – mostly to regain his energy – before talking again. "I love you, Sof. Never forget that."

That sent off alarm bells for Meredith, Derek, and Julia, but they ignored it for the time being. "Did you check on Zola?" The last Meredith knew, her daughter had been with April.

Julia nodded. "She's fine. Okay, I'm taking her to see Callie and Arizona, but I'll be back in a few minutes. Will you be okay until I get back?"

Mark sighed. "Yes." He was lying and no one bought it, but they didn't call him out.

"I miss Lexie so much." Meredith bit her lip to hold back another around of tears, but it was a futile effort. Derek grabbed his wife's hand and squeezed it, trying not to cry himself. He considered Lexie another one of his sisters, and he hated that he didn't get to say goodbye, that she had even died in the first place.

"I should have died out there. Why didn't you and Cristina let me?" Mark wished he had the energy to be furious, but all he felt was sadness.

"Because you have a daughter to live for and a family that loves you. Mark, I couldn't do this without you. You're my best friend." Derek had a feeling he'd fall apart with his best friend. He'd have to be the rock for both Meredith and Mark, and he had a feeling the next few months were going to be brutal.

When Julia returned about twenty minutes later, Meredith had had enough. "Julia, I'm sorry, but Mark wants to drag this out and I can't let him do that. He loved my sister and they belonged together. You're a nice person, but you and Mark don't fit. Thank you for coming, but you shouldn't have made all that effort."

Despite her shock, Julia was amused. "Are you breaking up with me for Mark?"

"Yes. I'm sorry?" Meredith wasn't, not really. She didn't give a shit about Julia and would be glad to see her gone. Especially since she couldn't help but think of the pain Lexie had been in about the Mark and Julia relationship during the past few months.

"No, it's okay. I guess I can understand. Never could compete with Lexie, right? And now she's dead." She was aware of more than what people thought she knew. The nurses had been talking about Mark and Lexie's relationship for the past few weeks, and Julia had been anticipating a break-up. She'd find someone else and have a baby with them.

Mark himself had fallen asleep during Julia's absence and was unaware when she kissed his forehead and then walked out of his life for good. He had nothing but nightmares about Lexie's death, mostly brought on by the drugs and trauma.

Within a week, the survivors of the plane crash had been discharged from the hospital. Since they didn't want to take another trip on a plane, they drove. Luckily for them, it was a drive that lasted only a few hours. It was still uncomfortable, however.

When Callie walked into Mark's apartment – He insisted on staying alone, so she repeatedly checked on him – She found him sobbing into a shirt. "What's that?"

"Lexie left a shirt here and I found it."

"On purpose? Mark, don't do this to yourself." While George hadn't been the love of her life, Callie still knew what he was going through. She and Arizona had decided they'd be there for him. He wouldn't grieve alone.

"I should have told her before that I loved her. I fucked everything up. I wanted to marry her and have kids. She was it, the love of my life. And now she's just gone." Mark began sobbing again and Callie couldn't take it anymore. She rushed to his side and brought him in for a hug, then started rubbing his back to calm him down.

Mark would mourn for Lexie, but he'd never move on. Her death had broken him completely.


End file.
